the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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