You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she pinky promised me she was 18
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
