I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
