we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
