So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
