well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
