Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
