Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
