did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My penis needs a shock collar
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
