dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
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I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
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I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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