dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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