My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
babies were throwing up all over the place
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
