The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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