I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
only you would photoshop your dick
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
