not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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