he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
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17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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