alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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