if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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