so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
