he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
