Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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