I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
