College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
