i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
