i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
