Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
