forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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