***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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