If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wish I only lived at night.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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