i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
