God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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