If that was your dad, he is hot
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
As shirtless as possible
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
