so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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