There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
