There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
