Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
