Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
