You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
