you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
