i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
