I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
