My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
