I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
