Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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