Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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