Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My day in three words: secret purse cake
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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