Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We left the knife in your bed.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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