ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
