Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Your cock deserves a montage
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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