I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
