mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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