So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
