that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize