And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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