Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize