This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I cut my penus on the lid.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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